Does Size Really Matter?

Does Size Really Matter?

Ask anyone with a penis, and they’ve likely been thinking about size since they realized they had a penis. Is it too big? Is it too small? How does it compare with other penises? Does the relative size of a penis actually matter? When you think of size and sex, the penis is often the first thing that comes to mind.

That doesn’t mean that a person with a vagina (the entry-way through which penetrative sex occurs not to be confused with the vulva which is what you see from the outside) doesn’t have worries, too. Will too much sex make it loose? Does having babies wreck sex forever? Can a vagina be too big?

The size of both penises and vaginas can be a source of tension for people. No one wants to be ridiculed for what their Mama (okay, genetics) gave them but it happens. This is unfortunate. Size doesn’t have to matter.

Average Penis Size

Average Penis SizeThe average penis is between five and six inches, depending on the study you read and the demographic involved. But if all you know about sex is what you see in porn, you might be worried that average means at least eight inches long and a few inches thick. Think again. For the vast majority of people, whatever size penis you have is typical and average. It’s going to work just fine for the vagina you’d like to fuck.

Too Small or Too Big

Size can affect sex in two ways: too big and too small. Before anyone’s junk swells with outrage (as opposed to any other reason), “too small” isn’t a judgement on anyone’s penis. In this case, while relatively rare among the penis-having population, someone may have what is known as a micropenis. This means their penis is usually about an inch when flaccid and around two and half inches when fully erect.

At the other end of the size scale are penises that are extremely large and long. These are the penises you can’t barely get the largest condom on. These big guys aren’t going all the way down a throat, a vagina, or an anus most of the time.  Too big or too small is relative. Not all sex has to be penetrative, and sexual pleasure is definitely possible for a giant or micropenis and their partners. It may take some creativity and a shift in your thinking of what sex can be, but size doesn’t have to affect sexual pleasure.

Vaginas – Tight or Loose?

Vaginas - Tight or Loose?While penises are worried about length and girth, those with vaginas may worry about how loose they are. The vagina is an extremely flexible, elastic part of the vulva. It’s designed to push out a newborn baby and, with enough lube and time, can sometimes take a large fist (if you’re into that kind of thing). The vagina is stretchy and for good reason.

Vaginas can accommodate a penis or other long, cylindrical objects (ahem, dildos, vibrators, oh my!) assuming there are no underlying medical issues such as vaginismus which can make penetration difficult, impossible, or simply painful. The vagina loosens as part of arousal, so to go looking for a “tight” vag means you’re likely looking for one that may not be turned on by you. In this case, loose is good. It means penetration of some kind is possible.

Can a Vagina Be Too Loose?

Can a Vagina Be Too Loose?The idea of being “too loose” will be relative to the person with the vagina and whatever is penetrating it. Just like micropenises are a possibility, some people’s anatomy can be bigger. A looser than average vagina can decrease the friction that a penis needs to feel good and get off. This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the person attached to the vagina or that sexual pleasure can’t be achieved in other ways.

Like people with below or extremely above average penises, a person with a looser vagina shouldn’t be shamed, shunned, or made to feel like a freak. There are too many other ways to have sex and experience sexual pleasure. If you really like this person, you can and should find what works for both of you. Maybe you focus on oral sex, try anal, or incorporate sex toys. Fisting or extra large dildos may be an option.


The vast majority of people, whether you have a penis or a vagina, are normal – no matter what size you are. Not everyone is hung like a porn star and there’s no “ideal” state of tightness for a vagina. Understanding that we’re all different and that there are multiple ways to experience sexual pleasure, regardless of your anatomy, should make the question of size unnecessary. Enjoy the person you’re with and experiment with new ways to get your freak on so you both have a good time.