Do you have a fantasy about being a kidnap victim or throwing making someone walk the plank of your pirate ship? Maybe you really like the idea of costumes and an elaborate scene with your partner. Some people really get into role play and others just feel awkward. If you’re new to the idea of role play, you might feel silly at first. You don’t have to, though. With a few tips, you can experience your own role play fantasy without feeling ridiculous.
Talk About It
Give your partner a head’s up before you play out your pirate fantasy with them. You might be comfortable yelling, “Landlubber, you’ll walk the plank when I’m done with you!” but with no warning, it’s going to be awkward for your partner. Grab a drink, get comfy at home, and just tell them the fantasies that turn you on.
It’s okay if they think it’s strange as long as they don’t make you feel ashamed about it, and it’s okay if you find it hard to say out loud. As part of the conversation, ask if there are any fantasies they might like to try. Be open to their role play ideas, and they’ll be more open to yours. This isn’t just about what you want to do.
Sext Each Other
A great way to talk about a fantasy and pretend you’re in a sexy situation is through text messaging or chat. You can start with what feels very real – how much you want your partner. Through the conversation, tell them, in detail, exactly what you’d do to them at this very moment. Get graphic. Add in some kinky fantasy. Take it as far as you’re both comfortable with.
If your partner doesn’t do a lot of sexting, they may be quiet at first. There’s a good chance, though, that they’ll get into it with you. Sometimes it’s easier to enjoy the fantasy of role play when you don’t have to look at your partner.
Consider It a Game
Role play is playing pretend but for consenting adults. Think of it as a game and try not to take any of it too seriously. This means laughing at silly stuff when it gets weird – and it’ll probably get weird. Wink and nudge them when you start, to show that you’re not taking things too seriously.
It’s possible that, like when you were a kid, the more you play, the more real it will seem. Treating it as the game it’s meant to be takes the pressure off of you both. When you take it too seriously, you start worrying you’re not going it “right” which can kill the mood. Keep the “game” in mind and you may find you’ll relax right into it.
Forget the Costumes and Props
Finding fetish gear or some costume can make role play feel awkward for some people. The props feel artificial and out of place. The costumes aren’t things you’d normally use or wear and you wonder if you’re doing it right. Don’t worry about dressing up or even using sex toys (which are great for role play).
Use your words and the dirty things you whisper to each other instead. Let your imagination fill in the details. Keep your role play simple so you can focus on feeling good. If you don’t have to worry about whether your eye patch is on correctly, you might actually start feeling like a pirate.
Add Costumes and Props if They Help
Yes, we just said to forget the costumes or props, and that’s sound advice – if either make you feel like an idiot. But if the only way you can get into the mood is to change clothes or use a prop to makes it feel more real, go for it. There’s no one right way to feel comfortable in role play. If putting on a dress or a wig or a hat gets you in the mood, you should use it.
Some people feel silly saying things or talking about the fantasy role play situation in their regular clothes (or even naked). They need the gear to help make it real. Even just a small piece of fetish gear or other sexy costume could be enough to put them right in the scene whether it’s student/teacher or you become their willing victim on the pirate ship.
Role play isn’t for everyone. For those who enjoy it, role play is an excellent way to spice things up and make sex more interesting. Feeling silly doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for it. You may just not have found the technique that helps you relax. Start small and do what feels right. If role play works for you, you’ll figure it out once you’re comfortable.